The Road to 40: Month 1

In a status update at the end of last year, I wrote that in 2013, I had become a wife, runner, and resident of an English-speaking country. What I didn't write was that these three things had made me feel permitted to consume everything in sight. I didn't just "let myself go", I let myself go berserk, packing on pounds by stuffing my face with all that a Western country has to offer: fish&chips, cheese, pizza, bread, actual beef, sausages, chocolate yule tide logs, etc. And even though I usually cooked healthy meals full of vegetables and all natural ingredients, I ate enough for 2 or 3 people, giving myself permission because I run 4 days a week.

So January 1 arrived and with it, the awareness that in exactly 6 months I would crest the big hill of 40 before starting the downward slide. But rather than feel depressed and anxious about this milestone, I felt inspired to see it as a challenge and opportunity. I don't know where it came from. I really did just wake up one day and feel that way. The first thing I had to do was decide what my goals were and then make them realistic and measureable.

The thing I'm more afraid of than my life being one giant waste is that I'll get cancer. I convince myself that every weird twinge, pain, or weird mark is cancer and that I'll have months to live. More than anything I want to live a long pain free life. I want my body to feel good and be able to fight against any of the damage caused by living in China, genetics, and my 20s. Having low stress, good health, and a strong social network are some factors that prevent that terrible disease. Low stress, check. Strong social network, not so much. Ok, let's tackle health then.

had not yet mastered setting the camera to take self pic

Setting a specific weight goal was a bit tricky because I grew up with someone who definitely has a textbook case of body dysmorphia and I didn't want to have the same fixation and perpetual dissatisfaction with both how I perceive myself to look and the numbers. In fact because of this fear, I hadn't stepped on a scale in years and barely looked at myself from the waist down. After getting on the scale this month, I know I'm not that overweight and maybe not overweight at all. My BMI (body mass index) is 24 and according to WebMD, 25 is overweight. After a fair bit of looking at various health websites and soul-searching, I decided on one aspect of the Road to 40 Plan.

Weight as of Jan 1: 167 lbs (76kg)
Pants size: 12 (14 UK)
Weight Goal: 150-155 lbs, pants size 10.
Reduce ostrich stomach.

self-taken mug shot January 6.

To lose one pound a week, I need to take in about 250 fewer calories and burn 250 extra. I run about 4 times a week, each run is about 9km and 50 minutes. This probably burns about 400-500 calories. But rather than do more running, I decided that I needed to work on my entire body and not just the few muscle groups used in running. And a stronger body burns more fat and yadayadadadyadada. So I joined a gym that is about 2 blocks from my apt. And lord help me, paid to have someone torture me a few times so I could learn how to torture myself. The Sadist (a.k.a. Dean) is an incredibly knowledgeable young lad with various degrees and accolades who believes strongly in weight training and something evil called planking to work The Core. After the first session, I couldn't walk for 4 days, but my body is beginning to relent and just go with it. In fact, my body seems to really be enjoying it like its got some kind of Stockholm Syndrome.

Exercise Goal: do the workout Dean taught me M,W,F with a bit of cardio thrown in. Keep running on T,Th, S mornings.

I also set intellectual/creative goals when 2014 rolled in and one of these was to approach my love of cooking in a systematic way and learn basic techniques and classic recipes as well as practice the more difficult dishes of European and Asian cuisine. I have been a rock star at this goal (the posts are braising in my mind as I type) but creating (and enjoying the creations) is in direct conflict with my weight goal. I've been cooking things like standing rib roasts, legs of lamb, shepherd's pie, cannelloni in béchamel sauce topped with cheese, braised pork belly and apples, various risottos, kofte platters, French onion soup, Spanish omelettes, real Bolognese sauce, Thai bbq ribs, a ton of different curries, and so so many more.

my unorganized pantry

Eating less is my biggest challenge. I love food. I can barely remember any of the museums, temples, and UNESCO heritage sites I've seen in the last 8 years, but I can remember EVERY great meal: the flavours, textures, and smells, the setting, my mood, etc. So I'm not going to give up good food and start eating a grilled chicken breast with a side of steamed vegetables. But I need to do portion control and cut out processed desserts (someone please tell my husband to stop buying chocolate cookies and lemon cheesecake!), and eat naughty food (pizza, pub food, Chinese take out) less frequently.

Food goal: Experiment with vegetarian dinners 2-3x a week, fish 1x a week. Make less food and/or immediately put some in a container for next day's lunch. Go out for dinner only 1x a week.

It's February 1 and some goals are on track while some are definitely not. In my defence, I didn't actually start until January 6 when I went back to work and there were those four days I was out for the count due to my inability to move my legs, but I could do better and shall.

Weight loss goal: 0 lost, pants size the same. Ostrich stomach still in place.
Exercise goal: about 75%. I cheated and finished workouts early a couple of times. Running is on track.
Food goal: FAIL. I've been cooking much healthier meals but I still eat too much of them in one sitting and my cheat day often turns into a 2 day binge fest.

However, I do feel something going on internally. I have more energy and just simply feel better.

I'm writing this post mostly because I believe that "saying it out loud will make it more real" and will keep me from cheating and just going back to old habits. But as I write it, I'm thinking about how people will react, so let me just say to the critics that are in my head: I  know I'm lucky that I don't have kids, that I only work about 30 hours a week, and that I have the extra income to stock my pantry with exotic spices and fresh veggies and meat. I know I don't have that difficult of a road to travel. But it's my road and I just want to document what happens. That is all.