Saturday, December 29, 2012

(Hyacinth) Bucket List

 
"Keeping Up Appearances" is a British comedy about a middle class woman, Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced by her as 'Bouquet'), who yearns for a higher social status and seizes every opportunity to climb the social ladder, usually with a lot of mishaps along the way. In honor of her, this is my Bucket List of classy things I'd like to do.

1. Have dinner at Noma in Denmark.
2. Fly first class to get there.
3. Drink tea at Makbari Tea Plantation in Darjeeling, India.
4. Enter a cat in the Supreme Championship show.
5. See an opera at Teatro Massimo in Palermo.
6. Stay at a penthouse suite in Geneva.
7. Have a kobe beef barbecue.
8 Go on a champagne hot air balloon trip in France.
9. Have lunch at Thornbury Castle.
10. Drink wine recovered from a sunken ship.

Ah, who I am kidding? I feel guilty if I spend more than $20 on a meal....but it was fun to think about.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

The Ultimate Pinky Swear


"On whom should I lean, if not on you? My wary mind turns for refreshment to the thought of you
as a dusty traveller might sink onto a soft and grassy bank. "  --Gustave Flaubert



We've done everything backwards. Moved in together before we were even dating. Moved to another country together before we were even serious. Went to many a honeymoon destination before we were even engaged. It went something like this:

Met in Istanbul.
One of the first photos of us. Not sure how much we really liked each other at this stage.

Got to know each other in Poland. 
He brought me to my first castle!!

Got serious in China.

Got engaged in Malaysia. Planned  a wedding in Thailand. 

And if all goes as planned, I will be able to say after the summer next year, that we got married in Ireland.

People's lives are  comprised of a series of "Before and After's". Before I went to college and After. Before I had children and After. Before my loved one died and After. Until I met S, my biggest Before and Afters were losing my Dad and moving abroad. For years, I suffered the culture shock and explored the unknown completely alone. I became so comfortable and secure in my independence that I assumed I wouldn't have an "Eat Pray Love" kind of ending to my story. But now it's difficult at times to even remember the Before S.


Actually, I'd always been secretly resigned to never getting married, having never seen a happy one in action on a daily basis. While other girls were fantasizing about walking down flower strewn aisles in princess dresses, I just wanted to be frolicking on a prairie like Laura Ingalls.
 

But there I was in a cheap hostel in Penang, Malaysia, the French guys next door soundly sleeping after a long night session on the bongos, when S asked. And it seemed the most natural, logical, and exciting thing to say, "Yeah, let's."

Another thing I never figured was that being engaged would feel different than "having a boyfriend". I find myself being more protective of and nurturing in this relationship. Even though I know divorce is always an option, and I can leave anytime, I'm invested as if they're not options. I guess it's akin to how a long time renter feels when deciding to buy a house, no?

Protective and nurturing require a bit of selflessness and work. A marriage is a full on English garden, not some Menard's houseplant. I've had to accept that there can be more than one way to hang clothes and wash dishes, that it's polite to listen to synopses of stories involving things about which I'm completely clueless (football, Boardwalk Empire), that it's not all about me anymore.
Learning pitch & putt wasn't as horrible as I expected

Because all that work yields some lovely stuff. If I listen, then later, I have someone to listen to my ramblings. If I cook a nice meal, someone will clean it up after, albeit in a different way than I would have. If I'm supportive, kind, and affectionate, I get the same in return. Not to mention the great stuff like hugs, long talks, laughter, capers, journeys to the unknown. And the best, having one person who knows you completely and still likes you anyway and being that person for another. I know it sounds crazy, self-absorbed, and a wee bit naive, but it's all been a revelation.


We may not have the altruism of George and Mary Bailey, the youthful gaiety of Jack and Rose, the strategic minds of Anthony and Cleopatra, or the musical prowess of Simba and Nala. We don't complete each other. But I can honestly say, we completely love each other.

 


 
 

Thursday, December 6, 2012

A Difficult Confession


I'm in a relationship that's gone as stale as a keg of Busch Lite. As predictable as a Hollywood disaster movie. What once filled me with the exhilaration of a rocket lit sky, is now a mere pile of yesterday's firecracker rubbish.

Everyday I'm smothered and nearly suffocated by the same constant warmth, despite my best efforts at evasion. Where once I saw intrigue and individuality, now I only see unilateral messiness, inefficiency, and a lack of common sense.

I've fallen out of love. Plain and simple. Not because I was cheated, abused, neglected, or wronged in any way. I. just. got. bored. So bored I've invented and taught our cat an elaborate chase game. So bored I actually read bible verses and song lyrics people post as facebook status updates. So bored I literally watch the paint dry on my nails.

I love you Songkhla; I'm just not in love with you. And it's not you. It's me. Well maybe it's a little bit you. The same unrelentless 100 degree days, the same rubbish strewn beaches, the same three or four good restaurants. The same conversations. Same, same!! as they say here in Thailand. I could map the rut my Sketchers have made in this town.

I'm not married to Songkhla, but I am contractually obligated for several more months. So as with any other contractually obligating relationship, I need to "work on it". Songkhla is still the same quaint little seaside town it was a few months ago. I've allowed myself to get in this funk. Maybe because it's the holiday season and I want to be bundled up in front of a fire wearing a reindeer sweater. Maybe because I'm getting anxious to start the next chapter of my life as Mrs. Clarke.

In the meantime, I need to write more, try new recipes, go to new places in town, watch more sunrises, sit on more benches, let anger go more easily, swim in the sea more often, have coffee with friends instead of beer, write longer emails, talk more to my colleagues and students, and maybe just suck it up and stop whining already.

Friday, November 30, 2012

A Day in the Life of an Underutilized ESL Teacher


It's Thursday. My longest day. Which means teaching 8-12 and then 1-4. Which really means teaching 8:30-11:30 and 1:00-3:30. It's a longish day sandwiched between a day of no classes and a day with one morning class.
12 of the 40 students are actually on time!!!

On this particular Thursday, I got up at sunrise so I could get a walk/jog in before going to the university. A lot of retirees are decked out in their exercise gear to take advantage of the beautiful sky, cool air, and light traffic. On this day, I took some photos and thought for the bizillionth time that I need to carpe diem a bit more and enjoy more sunrises and sunsets.
that bull gave me the stink eye
 
After a couple of cups of instant coffee (don't cringe, you get used to it!!) with milk and brown sugar (I can never remember to buy granulated sugar when I go to the store), a quick check of the internet to confirm that no one sent me any messages, and a cold shower, I headed out the door to cross the 7:30 traffic, Frogger style, to get to the school.

Look at everyone wearing a safety helmet.    oh wait....
 
At the gates, the guard saluted me with his usual, "Good morning, Sir!". I smiled and saluted him in reply. I don't think most people greet the guards (or grounds keepers and cleaners), but I know they stand outside all day in their heavy uniforms and I'd like to think a friendly hello from the farang breaks up the monotony.
And sawadee ka to you!!

Several classes in all departments begin at 8:00. However, this seems to be more a suggestion than a hard and fast rule. Teachers and students alike have their own definition of when 8:00 is. As a result, it is so quiet when I get to campus at 7:45 that I can hear all the frogs and birds.
This same man will later mow that football pitch with some contraption made from used bicycle parts and a saw

Everyday, I walk under the covered walkways to head for the Almighty Book. No, the other Almighty Book. The one you must sign before 9:00 am or suffer some unknown torture. I am lucky, though, that I don't have to sign out at 4:30 like at other schools, and doubly lucky that I don't have to sign in via thumb scan like the high schools.
I am writing "8:00 to 16:30" mwhahahah

Today, I gathered my materials (whiteboard markers, handouts, class name lists) and headed out the door. Everyday at 8:00am and 6:00 pm, the national anthem is played and everyone who isn't driving should stop what they're doing and listen respectfully. I always know that I'm going to have to stop and listen to the song, but I can't force  myself to leave the office after it's over. I have not been able to shed the Midwestern penchant for punctuality.
The picture on my name card is from my junior year in high school.

Today, I stopped just outside the Chevron Settapat Training Center and was able to give a wave to my weekend students, who are in training to work off shore and make a boatload more money than me.
These guys graduate next week. I will really miss them :(
 
On Thursdays, I have two back to back 2 hour classes with students in the Business Administration Department who are majoring in General Management, Marketing, Information Systems, etc. The building was finished last year and is the richest and fanciest on campus. There is actually an elevator and the rooms are furnished with clear white boards, projectors, computers, overheads. However, not until recently did the rooms have a whiteboard eraser. The only drawback is that the classes have around 40 students which is a large number to manage for a conversation course. And there's a range of ability from barely knowing the alphabet to English major level.
fancy schmancy Business Administration Building

After class, I met Stephen in the canteen across the road. I eat here most everyday I teach because it's quite cheap and easy. You get rice and a choice of 3 dishes for 30 baht ($1). I usually get 2 vegetables and a curry. For some reason the vegetable dishes often have bits of meat making it difficult to be a pure vegetarian.
Occasionally I make a mistake and get liver but for the most part this stuff is yummy.

At 1:00 I taught "Advanced" Writing with the 3rd year English majors. I use the quotes because "advanced" is a relative term. Advanced compared to a 7 year old? Yes. Advanced in terms of complexity of structures, transitions, and overall vocabulary? Not always. But they are a great class and really want to improve. Today I taught when to use infinitives and gerunds for the grammar component and transitions for the composition section.
These English majors are really taking notes and not faking it for the camera, I swear.

After class, I decided to go to the market near my apartment to get a few things at the open air vegetable stands as well as  buy cat stuff at Lee. I try to cook a few times a week, with varying success from week to week.
Mystery meat on a stick cart on Chaimongkol Road

I walked down Chaimongkol Road past several small shops and Chaimongkol Temple and down a couple of smaller back streets to the market. I find that the smaller the street, the more people who shout at me.
Outdoor beverage shop off of Chaimongkol

I bought my staples of carrots, eggplant, potatoes, garlic, onions, and tomatoes as well as Friday Cat's food and litter. The motorcycle taxi drivers wait in a group outside and by now, most of them know where to take me. Because I was wearing a skirt I had to ride side-saddle and hope to keep my balance as we turned corners.
Daily market near Lee Wiwat

I cooked my wok version of pasta primavera and watched movies until it was time to meet the AUA crowd at 9 pm. They work at a language school, so finish late and have Fridays off. It's a challenge to make it to that time since I usually go to bed at 9, but chatting with that bunch is worth the wait.

I used "underutilized" in the title of this blog  post because there are times I wish I had more responsibility, more of a role in curriculum plannng, more professional development to keep up my game. But I reckon if that's my worst complaint, I'm essentially quite lucky. So, this Thursday was a day like any other with little stress, loads of free time, and a few laughs. All in all, a great day.
Sunset on Samila Beach
The not so fancy English Department Building
Small campus cafe across from the English Department
On Chaimongkol. One of about 7000 in Songkhla
Very nice student helping the low-tech teacher. In all fairness to me, the instructions are all in Thai
The canteen has activity all day long
Equipment in the English building works some of the time
 

Fried chicken stand on Chaimongkol. Street chicken is very popular
Entrance to Chaimongkol Temple
School kids walking home down a soi (small road) after school
A fruit stand of sorts
Corn on the cob!!! Except without the skewer holders or butter or salt and pepper
I'm not sure what this is called, but the money is to be donated to a temple. 
 

Songkhla Suns

One morning I got up at 5:30 so I could see the sunrise over the sea which is about a 5 minute walk from my apartment.
first sight when I looked up
The campus across the street from my apartment. The building on the left is the Computer Tech Dept

A campus building but I'm not sure which one

Entrance to the naval base on Wachira Rd on the way to the sea

The stage on the beach used for traditional Thai dancing shows on Friday and Saturday nights

Life imitating art?









taking a bull for a morning stroll on the beach
These photos are at sunset on a beach about a mile further south.

view from the restaurant table



Fishermen closing up shop for the day

Rat Island