So here are the highlights of what I love and hate about the
phenomenon that is facebook.
What I love
1. Cool articles, links, events. I've read and seen a
lot of interesting stuff that I would have never found or been exposed to on my
own. I love this. I'm trying to get better at doing the same.
2. Batshit crazy status updates. If status updates are
meant to be a snapshot of someone's thoughts and feelings at that very second, I fear some may be certifiable.
These cup fulls of crazy include rambling nonsensical introspections and reflections
on life's lessons, tirades similar to shouting at empty chairs, and blatant
threats to one or more specific persons. These make me smile and feel better
about myself. I watch "Hoarders" and "Intervention" for the
same reason.
3. Pictures of people in everyday life. This is the
equivalent of a family photo album on the bookshelf. Looking at people on
vacation, at home, or during life events is like getting to be there but not
having to suffer the small talk. I've always liked looking at people's photo
albums even if I didn't know all the characters. Especially when the owners
aren't home. And don't know I'm there.
4. Pictures/memes of cute animals. Seriously, who can
resist a cat with bad grammar? Or a cat with a British accent?
5. Arguing . On
facebook, you can think out your responses, get them worded just right without
a George Costanza-like moment of regret, wishing you'd said, "Well the Jerk
store called and the ran out of you!". You can be an asshole
without having to look in the person's eyes to see their hurt, confusion,
anger, or rejection when you've
unleashed your verbal vitriol. It's a civilized Jerry Springer.
What makes me cringe, vomit, or roll my eyes even
though there's no one there to see me do it
1. Inspirational memes. If someone needs to remind
themselves everyday to be happy, they probably aren't. When I see these, I immediately picture the person in a darkened room in the
middle of the afternoon, a bottle of booze close at hand, fingers trembling over
the keyboard whispering, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and, doggonit, people like me! ..."
2. Super duper negative/hateful memes. Who has the energy
for all that anger?
3. Daily agendas. Imagine walking into the pub to
meet some pals and saying without any sort of greeting, "Washed the cat today,
baked a bunt cake, and removed those nearly impossible to reach back hairs."
The speaker would get a nice pat on the head and be left to dink a pint alone.
4. Repost this or else you're an asshole. Oh, I dislike
these the most. Yes cancer sucks. Yes I have some especially wonderful nieces
and nephews. Yes I support veterans; and yes, I absolutely agree animal abuse
is wrong. But I don't relish being told what to write on my wall, especially
when the content is plagiarized, uninteresting, and/or worst of all, riddled with grammatical errors.
Updates like cheering on spots teams, talking about children,
announcing accomplishments and anniversaries are to me, a normal use of facebook. These are the kinds of things I'd expect to hear if I
were to say, "What's new with you?" They're updates.
Notice that I didn't mention anything about the presidential
election rantings, musings, and meme postings. I can't even go there. It's
absolute madness.
