A Day Off in the Life of an ESL Teacher

"You're life must be so exciting. All the adventures, the cultural experiences, the tropical paradise. And no real responsibilities! It's like your whole life is a gap year!"

random chicken in the Fitness Park

Here's a little secret about life as an ESL teacher in a small town: There can be a LOT of dull moments to fill. Especially if you have no classes but your school uses the cruel and unusual punishment of forcing its staff to sign their names every morning, thus prohibiting any escape from the town.

During the last two weeks with few or no classes, I can boil my life down to the following activities:

Using the internet for reading the news, looking for  funny pictures of kittens, watching reality tv and waiting anxiously for the new Mad Men, The Killing, and Game of Thrones to be posted.

Walking along the beach, up Monkey Hill, and/or to the market all the while trying not to pass out from heat exhaustion and sunstroke.

Reading from a limited supply of books. A few pubs serve as a library for the ex-pats, but most of these ex-pats are men and 85% of the material is spy novels (boring AND complicated).

Eating street food, home cooked food, restaurant food, 7-Eleven food, healthy food, naughty food.


There are no plants, pets, kids, gardens to take care of. No home improvement projects. No talent for art or music endeavors. No cinemas, libraries, or gyms.

Don't get me wrong. The life is good and relatively stress free. But man, sometimes it takes a lot of effort to figure out how to spend the hours. So here is an example of how I spent half of one dull day.

Got up and made the bed. Drank some instant coffee with chocolate milk, Checked emails (none again--so popular!). Read the news.

the master suite

Went away from the computer for one second and lost it to Stephen.

the den

Got ready for a long walk to Monkey Hill and to the market to buy meat and veggies. Put on copious amounts of sunscreen that melts off within 10 minutes. The weather was over 90 degrees as usual.

lovely little fitness park

Walked through the fitness park and marvelled at the equipment. Didn't want tetanus or to be stared at, so skipped the circuit training.

at least it's free

Walked up the small steep hill that's now overrun by monkeys. They've seen Planet of the Apes, I'm sure. And they're plotting something. Also looked out for snakes. They're in on it too.

"It's a madhouse! A madhouse!!"

Trudged up the three flight of stairs, thankful to have the excuse to stop for taking photos. Could feel the heat burning through my t-shirt and making more moles pop up. Put on a Queens of the Stoneage song so I could make it to the top. Saw a monk de-robing. Pretended not to.

the dreaded stairs to the top of Monkey Hill

Walked back down the stairs to a main road that leads to the market. Tried not to pass out from the heat radiating off the asphalt and the occasional whiff of open sewer.

must stop to catch my breath and enjoy the view

Entered Subsin Market, which is open everyday until about 3 or 4. There are no grocery stores that sell fresh produce or meat, so this and other markets around town are the only place to get fresh food unless you trek to Hat Yai about 45 minutes away.

the market is one of my favorite places in town

Bought two big bags of veggies and herbs and moved down to the meat section. Tried not to think about the botulism and salmonella floating in the blood-covered counters and floor. Tried not to pass out from the smell. Bought some pork and beef that looked fresh.

Yum! Pork face!!

Went to Lee, a grocery store (without fresh produce and meat) to get rice, TP, bread, and milk. Tried not to get angry about the tiny narrow aisles blocked by employees just standing around using their mobile phones. Tried to remember that overstaffing low paying jobs is a form of social welfare.

Flagged down a motorbike taxi and tried not to think about how I really should wear a helmet on these things especially when driven by inexperienced, impatient drivers. Paid my 20 baht, went upstairs, put away the stuff, and thought about how to spend the next 8 hours.

the entertainment center

Where's the stove?

my only cooking equipment

the fitness park near Samila Beach

these monkey are not on their designated hill

Monkey Hill-most people use the green elevator thing- I use the stairs in the back

durian fruit is so stinky it's banned from many places

fitness equipment at the bottom of Monkey Hill

I really should research where the meat comes from.....

Yes, I'll have some lettuce and an orange cat, please.

Trang-quility: A Trip with the Thai Teachers

These strange mountains poke out of the sea everywhere.

Imagine getting invited on holiday for free and not having to do anything in preparation. To sit back and be carted around, given food, and taken to see cool stuff you wouldn't otherwise know about! Ahh, teacher field trips--one of the many perks of my job at Rajamangala University.

We went with about 30 Thai teachers for an island hopping trip off the coast of Trang province in the Andaman Sea (a bit north of Satun and Lipeh Island). We were given an itinerary in Thai and so every experience was new and unexpected as we had no idea what was going on. Here's a summary:

We ate a lot. The first restaurant was a classy place in the middle of nowhere. Polished teak chairs and tables and plenty of family style eating: mixed vegetables, omelette with pork, sour yellow curry fish soup, and the most amazing invention of all: banana filled donuts dipped in honey.

First of many feasts on the trip. Thais love to eat all day.

We went into a sea cave that was so low you had to lie down flat on the boat. Squished next to three Thai men and Stephen as the cave ceiling nearly removed my bosom.

In the boat on the way to the cave with Stephen, Sakchai and two other teachers.We didn't know what was in store.

We ate some more. Thais like to share their treats. This was a purple roasted potato that tasted..purple.

a very purple, but rather bland roasted treat

We drove a lot. It was an arranged tour so the tour guide did some sort of stand up show with games involving prizes. There was a lot of incomprehensible (to us) shouting and laughing, so we put in our podcasts and watched the mountains and villages slide by.

I also experimented a lot with the camera.......

We stayed in a four star hotel. Rather than explore Trang City and get hot and sweaty, we enjoyed the comforts of a real bed, TV, and hot showers.

View from our room

We ate some more. While we swam in the hotel pool, the Thai teachers had some sort of professional development meeting. We came in for the last part, which was a big feast.

a ton of delicious food spinning round and round...

We sang a lot. No banquet is complete without karaoke. I was forced to sing "My Heart Will Go On" because I couldn't think of another option quickly enough. Stephen sang, "Can't Take My Eyes Off of You" and enunciated very clearly.

This song goes on and on....

We snorkeled a lot. There were quite a lot of people, so it wasn't meditative snorkeling, but it was great fun.. For the entertainment of those who stayed on the boat, people would bring bread or rice into the water to make all the fish swarm to the surface.

Stephen sporting the requisite Asian photo pose

We ate some more. A bbq of grilled crab, grilled prawns, and tom yum kung was prepared. Actually, I mangled some crab and prawns and Stephen ate rice and soup because he doesn't like shellfish.

We stayed in a two star cabin on the Rajamangala Trang campus that was a fortress against a thirsty mob of tiny buzzing vampires.

A lovely little cabin in the forest

We ate some more. Breakfast at this famous dim sum (a la carte) establishment included crispy pork, fried donuts, dumplings, chicken wings, bacon wrapped sausages, won tons, and a bunch of other stuff with no English name.

Breakfast, Trang style

And we got the table next to the picture of the King with The King.

Our Dean was quick to point out who is the real King in the picture...

All in all a fantastic trip. Thais know how to have fun. Sanuk mahk mahk!!

Our colleagues' son taking in the view from the first restaurant

Stephen discovers banana filled donuts

Unbeknownst to me I was about to embark on a claustrophobic ride in a cave, laying down, with the cave an inch from my face

"You're too good to be true"

At the pier

The girl on the right never actually went into the ocean...

View from the boat

There were many Muslim students out snorkeling and having a great time too

Fish fishing for free bread

Dorkeling

We also went through a cave to this little beach

Our Thai colleagues doing a photo shoot

The ants go marching a million by a million. Hurrah!

This girl at the dim sum breakfast joint seemed so forlorn

More experimenting with the camera on the bus ride home

Leap to Lipeh: Snorkeling Meditation

Meditating Cat

I do not have the perseverance, patience, or agility to meditate in the typical style. Sitting in the lotus position gives me leg cramps and chanting makes my jaw hurt. However, there is one activity that I can engage in that produces the desired results of awareness without the distraction of emotion, thought, and self-reflection. Like traditional meditation the first steps to master are breathing and holding the body into a position in which you can best focus and not focus (it's all very confusing to explain, really). My meditation is snorkeling.

Thailand is renowned for its islands off both coasts--the Gulf of Thailand in the east and the Andaman Sea in the west. For my meditative retreats, I prefer an island with no McDonald's, no tailor shops, no time shares, and no place for cars. Lipeh (Lee-pay) Island ticks all the boxes. Koh Lipeh is part of the Taratao National Park and thus, has only been allowed to develop minimally. The island is inhabited by a group known as "sea gypsies".

First snorkeling session

Walking around the entire island would probably take a couple of hours at most and walking from one side to the other is about 30 minutes. Two narrow concrete roads and no cars, no buildings over one storey. I could stay at one of the islands with even fewer developments, but snorkeling meditation involves swimming and that makes one hungry.

Free advertising for Mulligan's in Dublin

Restaurants include standard Thai fare, a lot of grilled seafood, a pizza place, and my favorite--a grilled chicken place run all by ladyboys. A few pubs are scattered here and there, along with some souvenir shops, and a couple of places to get a full body massage for about $`10.

Biggest pub on the island

Last March, I was both excited and apprehensive to go to Lipeh after a 2 year hiatus. Excited because I wanted to share this great gem with someone great and apprehensive because said someone great thought snorkeling would be a big snorefest. What if the whole trip made my solitude paradise lose its sparkle?

Pre-snorkeling photo

Bungalow in Satun

Ferries to Lipeh leave from Satun, about 100 km from Songkhla. One of my Thai colleagues is from Satun and a large number of people in his family are connected to the local tourism industry. The night before we set sail, we received an incredible home cooked meal by his wife at her restaurant and stayed gratis at a cousin's bungalow where there was not only hot water and a comfy bed, but also cable. With Dexter showing.

Next day, breakfast at another cousin's shop and escort service to the ferry. The ride over is about an hour and a half with a short stop at this small island.

At small island on the way to Lipeh

There is no relationship between "naked place"and "porn resort"

When we arrived, I had hoped to stay at my usual--the Porn Resort. Despite being usually mature, seeing the sign makes me laugh like a 12 year old boy. Actually "porn" is a Thai woman's name that means "blessing" and is pronounced more like "pawn".  

simplicity

The Porn Resort was full, so we headed to the Sunset Resort and stayed here for about $12/ night. Inside is a bed with a mosquito net and a fan. A step down in the back of the hut leads to a concrete "bathroom" with a shower and a lid less toilet. No cupboard, mirror, table, chair, or room service here.

We immediately donned our swimming gear of shorts and t-shirts and went to explore. Every beach includes sand, rocks, turquoise waters and the tell tale dark splotches of underwater coral where the fishes like to hang out. After finding a secluded spot to stow our stuff, I put on my teacher hat and showed Stephen the fundamentals of snorkeling. He took to it like a ....you got it.  From then on, it was a fight over who got to use the lone mask.

Addicted!

I don't know if floating in the water, hearing only the sound of my own breathing, and watching an entire other universe of color and dancing shapes beneath me is true meditation. It's certainly not something I can do every day. But it's definitely a peaceful detour on this journey that if not enlightened, is pretty damn cool.

On the beach in Satun

Breakfast companion in Satun

My colleague and his frightened-of-us nephew

First venture into the Andaman Sea

Scantily clad tourists

On the long tail boat from ferry to shore

the main thorough fare on the island

Sunrise

Sunrise swinging

Jungle temple statue

Jungle temple cat

last snorkeling session

leaving the island